Choices

As my husband and I are venturing down the path to having another newborn, it hit me the other day how very easily this opportunity may not have been given to us had we made some major decisions at vulnerable moments. Praising God that we however did not make those choices, but it is a very real issue in today’s knee-jerk society that many end up regretting.

It’s so funny to think that when we first started seeing each other, one of the first things I told my husband was that I didn’t think I really wanted kids. I was the youngest in my family and I wasn’t “good” with little ones. Honestly, I was just a pretty selfish person at the time. But he looked at me and said well that’s going to be a problem because with all the nieces and nephews I have, I definitely want some kids. He came from a very large family compared to mine and little ones were around at all times, and he was just a natural with them. And I was already head over heels for him, so I knew that eventually if this was going to be a serious relationship, I’d have to compromise and at least have one.

We actually had a hard time conceiving our first but after some time, God blessed us with our beautiful little girl. We instantly fell in love with her and she just made it so easy on us. We then decided we’d like to have 3 total, God willing. Then by a huge surprise, our son came along very quickly. It was during that delivery that my doctor at the time voiced some concerns and asked me how many more times we planned to do this. I was of course scared out of my mind, opened up on an operating table for a cesarean, and I said something along the lines of this can be the last one if you feel like it needs to be.

Thank God the doctor said he wouldn’t do anything drastic with me being in the emotional state I was in and he did his best to fix whatever issues were concerning him. But just like that, he could have taken my permission and done something that would have never allowed us to conceive again.

Our amazing little boy had many issues with allergies, eczema, not sleeping well, you name it the poor kid dealt with it. So we thought it would be best to stop with two and be content with that.

4 years passed by and just last summer, we were discussing my husband having a vasectomy. We had even called to set up an appointment. But, the office had recently made some changes with insurance and it was going to cost a lot more out of pocket than we realized. Plus, the more I thought about it and researched it, the more concerned I was with the effects that procedure can have on men later on in life. Yes, anything that re-routes our God-given systems can have harmful effects, no matter how good of a salesman your doctor is. So, we decided to not go that route as well.

Praise God. Many, many changes in our life happened at a very rapid pace over the past couple of years and God really started working on our hearts to open our minds to one more child. As with most wonderful things that God leads us to, I was hesitant. Fear struck me with all the unknowns of pregnancy and birth. Selfishness struck me with thinking about possibly going another 4 years without consistent sleep. But it just kept coming back up again and again that we were supposed to have one more. So, we went for it. And it happened very quickly. I’m not trying to be insensitive to those who have been struggling for months or years to conceive, it is just the way our path has unfolded.

As we await the arrival of this beautiful life God is entrusting us with, it’s so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that parents are letting their children make life-altering decisions at the drop of a hat. That parents are contributing to the mutilation of not only their kids, but of the future generations that were supposed to come from them. Because again, no matter how good the sales pitch is for these hormone replacements or “possibly” reversible surgeries that these young folks are having, the truth of the matter is they have no idea what the lasting effects will be.

My generation is a generation that was given the “harmless” birth control pill since age 12 to help regulate our cycles and the number of women who now want to conceive but can’t is tragic. So to all parents, I beg you that in any case, if you are emotionally vulnerable, that you take a step back and really simmer on the decision you have at hand. That you really research any product you are letting your child have, no matter how harmless your doctor says it is. Every decision we make today will have lasting impacts on our tomorrows, especially when it comes to decisions with our family. Make sure you are seeking God’s will and direction for all your choices, big and small. He won’t let you down.