Our Successful VBA2C Journey

I feel like to get the full story we need to begin at the very beginning so buckle up, it'll be a long ride.

This post is not to persuade you or try to get you to agree that this is the way it should be done. There is no medical advice in this post, I'm simply sharing our experience for anyone who is feeling the pull to something alternative to a hospital birth.

Let me start by saying I had my first cesarean supposedly because my first child had "low amniotic fluid" and our ultrasound 2 days before Christmas showed there was not enough fluid to continue on.

I did not educate myself on birth whatsoever. We didn't attend a single birth class through the hospital, I never watched a birth video of any sort, and if you asked me what a placenta was I'd have to say I have no clue I just know it helps with pregnancy. I had no idea that hospitals can sell that vital organ that comes out after birth for upwards of $50,000 if you just let them keep it. Seriously, google it.

Does that mean they sell them all? No. But can you imagine how easily you could have paid off your hospital birth bills if you'd had some of that profit if they did sell yours?

Anyway, they induced me after my checkup, baby didn't tolerate the pitocin and a cesarean took place. It went smoothly, I had no adverse reactions, baby nursed immediately and everything was hunky-dorey.

When we conceived the second time, our new OB suggested a repeat simply because "it'd be easier than having to convince me at the last minute." As easy as my first was, we ignorantly took his advice and scheduled it. We picked a Friday afternoon so my husband would have the next 2 days off without having to eat any vacation days and that in itself was a huge mistake. My nurses were headed out for a weekend off after who knows how many consecutive days on. We are pretty sure my IV line was kinked and I didn't get enough fluid before the surgery. I then had a reaction during the surgery where my body more or less went into shock, my temp dropped below 94 degrees for an uncertain amount of time and they had to give me a tranquilizer and wrap me in a tinfoil suit to get my body to regulate. It was awful, my husband was traumatized because no one knew what was happening and I just praise God I never lost full consciousness. That experience alone was enough to make us both say we never wanted to risk going through something like that again. Our second child had issue after issue from that point forward which I may discuss at a later time.

So, life moved along as it does and we were content with our two kiddos, but God moved big in our life around the beginning of 2022. He brought me home to homeschool our kids full time and my husband tried out a different job at the beginning of 2023. It was at that time that we felt like we were being led to try for one more child, as crazy as it seemed to us both after what we'd went through with the last birth. But we decided to trust Him and put it all in His hands. We practically conceived immediately.

I had been researching alternative approaches to birth as I clearly had some PTSD from being in hospitals at all after that last round. A friend of mine had shared a homebirth video as she herself had a couple homebirths. I couldn't believe Instagram allowed the video to be on their platform. My programming and societal conditioning made me think it was gross, I almost couldn't even watch it. But then I started coming around to the idea of it, after all it, it seemed much more peaceful than a traumatizing cesarean. The more I dove in, the more I couldn't get it out of my head and I started trying to find a midwife who would consider taking us on. A VBA2C seems to scare many OB's due to policies and some midwives too so it was no easy task. The midwives I found needed payment upfront before birth, our health share company wouldn't pay because I hadn't been on it long enough before conception, and I felt a little crazy for even considering going that route anyway so we decided to try to go back to the hospital way of thinking.

I waited to book my initial "confirmation" appointment until I was 14 weeks. Friendly PSA, you don't need to run to a doctor the day after you miss your period and get the positive sign on your at home test. You can be pregnant without anyone in a white coat confirming it for as long as you'd like. When I went to my first appointment we discussed how much we wanted a natural VBA2C and only one doc in the practice said he would take us on and "let me try" to TOLAC as they call it. That should have been my first red flag, the rhetoric alone that we have become so desensitized to should make women question why they go into this system in the first place. No one needs to give you "permission" to "try" anything. It is YOUR baby, so whatever interventions you want to have or decline are up to YOU. And if you blindly go along with whatever they push on you, then it's your responsibility to acknowledge you just blindly took their "expert" advice and let whatever happen inevitably happen.

Sorry, told you this would be long.

So we decided we liked this well recommended doc, he especially was a smooth talker with my husband and clearly they became fast friends. My 19 week appointment rolled around for my anatomy scan and everything looked great on the scan. We proceeded with the appointment and my OB brought up the fact that my blood type was a rhesus negative type and that I'd "have to get the Rhogam shot." I then asked him nicely to give us the possible side effects that could happen if I declined it this time.

Rhogam is a blood transfusion product, it can have up to 20+ contributors and we have no idea if the contributors had the C0v1d shot or any other shots or diseases that we really wouldn't appreciate being introduced to our bloodstream while pregnant or immediately after. Anyway, he proceeded to look around me to my husband and state with a laugh, "Well if she were my wife, I'd tell her that is the stupidest f@#$*(% decision she could ever make."

😳

Whatever his opinion on the matter was, his job is to help inform his patients of both sides of taking the product or declining, and clearly, he failed to do that objectively. That was the last time we saw him, and it hurts my heart knowing he was literally the only doc in that practice that would even consider the vba2c. It also hurts my heart to know he probably has been arrogant and demanding towards other women. How are women supposed to get the support they need when they are talked to like children that can't make their own decisions?

So, now what? The midwife route just kept playing in my mind. How are we going to afford this? How am I going to find someone who will come to our neck of the woods? Is this absolutely crazy?

I knew one other friend who'd had an out of hospital birth and I visited with her to get more information. We found her midwife 90 miles away who had place she let women labor and give birth at that was just a few miles from a transfer-friendly hospital. We had been told by another midwife that the hospital close to us was not transfer friendly and after our interaction with that previously mentioned OB I fully understand what she meant.

My husband was a little hesitant, especially when we rolled up to the place that I would later give birth at. It wasn't a bad place, but it wasn't a hospital so after our last scare he was understandably nervous.

Our consultation went great. We instantly hit it off with our midwife and her team. The two we met with were both VBAC moms and understood exactly what women go through in our medical system all too often. They were very knowledgeable and answered our entire list of questions confidently.

After deciding to become clients of theirs, it was smooth sailing. I didn't want any more ultrasounds, we really have no clue how safe they are anyway. X-rays were still being used up until the 1970s during pregnancy, who knows what 50 years from now may reveal about all the ultrasounds and 3D imaging we tend to do nowadays to see our little one that was never designed to be seen before it exited our bodies.

Our appointments consisted of listening to baby's heartrate and just going over any questions or concerns I was having. Sometimes they were 10 minutes and sometimes they were an hour, it was really all about what I needed and what we wanted to discuss. We were never rushed and the conversations always felt like visiting with a friend. God blessed us and answered prayer after prayer throughout the entire pregnancy and I felt better than I ever have in my life so I really didn't have any concerns throughout.

One thing that made me sad was after every appointment, our loved ones would ask or want to know how it went. It seemed to "surprise" them every time that things were going smooth. It's like we are trained to instantly think there will be some sort of complication that arises before baby gets here. Wonder why that is? Could it be because it's a money game at the hospital and their easiest to schedule, most profitable way for you to give birth is to find a reason for a cesarean? Maybe that's just my biased conclusion....maybe it's not, you can decide for yourself.

We didn't advertise to anyone that we were using a midwife and planning to birth outside the system. Unfortunately, others lack of research and understanding can make them worry and cast their fears & anxieties into our situations and we knew we wanted to avoid that at all costs. My pregnancy went smooth, I prioritized rest, nutrition, and exercise as much as possible and I was determined not to have any major interventions to try to avoid a transfer if at all possible. I prayed everyday on my walks for a smooth and healthy delivery and I know I had an army of prayer warriors praying for our health and safety as well.

I was 41 weeks when I went into labor. It is normal for women to go past their due dates, we really need to do better at accepting that and not bombarding them daily when they reach 39/40 weeks. It's just what we do as a society, but it really puts unnecessary pressure and concern on a momma who wants to meet their baby more than anyone.

I'd had prodromal labor the entire week before, sometimes contractions were 7-8 minutes apart, sometimes 12 minutes apart, sometimes hourly but nothing strong. I had a checkup on Thursday at 40 weeks 5 days. We decided (weren't persuaded or forced) to just let our midwife check me and possibly do a membrane sweep. Up until that point I'd had no cervical checks or any other scans. My cervix was so far back and not where it needed to be that she said she wouldn't be able to do a sweep even if I wanted to. She figured it'd be 4-5 days before I went into full labor. I went home and walked and walked and walked while doing some hip thrusts to try to get my cervix to come forward. That Thursday night I had major contractions all night every hour on the hour. I woke up and felt like I had the flu Friday morning. I hadn't felt that way the entire pregnancy. Contractions started coming 7-8 minutes apart and they were stronger than I'd ever felt the week before. ( I never went into labor with my first 2 so I had no clue what to expect.)

As the day went on I really had to breathe through them but they still weren't coming in a consistent pattern. My midwife suggested I try to get some good sleep that night (Friday night). I tried. By midnight I couldn't even lay down and the contractions started coming around 4-5 minutes apart. I called her and couldn't even get through my conversation and we decided it was time to head that way. We loaded up and headed out it was the longest 90 mile drive ever and we made it in record time. I sang worship music the entire way there, telling myself that each contraction only hurt for a short time and I'd get through it. I cried as we pulled into town, praising God we didn't have to deliver on the side of the road. Looking back that ride over was probably one of the hardest parts of the entire experience, I wish I'd just stayed home and paid more for them to come to us, but I wasn't confident enough at that time.

Anyway, we arrived around 2:15 a.m. Things progressed quickly, my wonderful team started filling the inflatable birthing pool and started really hurrying to do it like they thought I was close to pushing. I think it was at this point I hit a bit of a mental block. I couldn't believe it was happening so quickly and when I got in the birthing pool, I hated it. I couldn't get any traction and it was squeaky from the plastic. It just didn't work for me, clearly I wasn't going to just breathe the baby out in a beautiful, blissful pool of water like I'd seen others do in videos. I had very strong back labor the entire time, it felt like the baby was going to come straight out of my back. I just kept singing the Elevation Worship song "Joy in the Morning", knowing there WOULD be pure JOY in the morning once this baby made his entrance.

By around 5 a.m.(ish), my water finally broke. When it did, we saw it had a little meconium in it. I knew that wasn't a great thing to see from many of the births I'd researched. I also knew it wasn't a huge emergency as long as baby's heartrate was staying steady. At no point did I feel like the baby or myself were in distress and we moved to the bed and birth ball and started pushing. My husband was SUCH a trooper. He was the most supportive coach and my biggest encouragement the whole way through. I have never loved him more than I did during this experience, it brought us so much closer together. We were in such a sweet, safe space, nothing like it would have been in a hospital. I was hot and sweating profusely and clearly not wearing some stupid white button gown so it was as intimate as it could be for us. Everyone in the town probably heard me screaming but I didn't care one bit. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

I didn't do it for some trophy or a pat on the back. I did it because I wanted to feel everything that I was robbed of with the first two. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Nothing compares to that feeling of letting your body do what God designed it to do, bringing new life into your hands. I didn't get to experience the "fetal ejection reflex" that I'd read about in so many homebirth stories but I also never felt the horrible "ring of fire" that others talk of. It was just a beautiful, hard experience that you really can't describe until you go through it.

At 6:26 a.m. baby was born. His umbilical cord was extremely long, he was wrapped up in it like a perfect little present. Again, while the umbilical cord being wrapped around baby can be a little nerve-wracking, it isn't always a cause for hysteria or an emergency. He pooped so much as soon as they put him on me that we never had a sticky diaper at all. I delivered my placenta within about 15 minutes the same way, no pitocin shot jammed in or some nurse pushing or tugging where they shouldn't be. Kind of funny how smooth things can go if we just let them happen. We had an entire hour of just resting in our golden hour with skin-to-skin contact. No one grabbing him for weights and measures or an unnecessary bath. No one asking Zach to be distracted with this paper and that signature. It was pure bliss. The next hour once he settled down and had nursed, we cut his umbilical cord which had had an entire hour to pulsate all the blood through. We weighed him and he clocked in at a whopping 9 lbs 12 oz. They measured him and assessed my bleeding and blood pressure. All was well.

We were home by 11 a.m. The ride home wasn't very comfortable as my uterus was still contracting down. Once we were home though, it couldn't have been more perfect. Our two big kids got to come home immediately and meet and hold their baby brother. We all got to be in our own beds and comfy chairs that entire day, night, and all the days after. No hard couch for Zach to sleep on. No nurses interrupting much needed sleep for me and baby. My midwife was just a call away should any concerns arise and she visited us a few days later to check me and baby over again. She answered all our questions and still to this day will answer any call or text I have with questions that arise.

God provided so much for us in those next days with meals and support from friends and family. I haven't had a to buy a single diaper yet and we are 3 months out. I am so thankful that so many were so generous to us, especially with this being our third. I think we needed the support and meals more this time than with our first two. I feel awful for not being more supportive of friends and family that have had more than one child. It doesn't matter if it's their first or tenth, every momma appreciates meals and diapers after birth, no doubt about it.

Baby never lost any weight. I was never pumped full of IV liquids so he wasn't "inflated" at birth. He gained a pound per week for the first 8 weeks, he clearly doesn't miss a meal. Right now at 3 months out, he's holding steady around 18.5 lbs and he is the happiest, calmest child I've ever met. He has the clearest, most beautiful skin. There are so many variables that I believe had led to him being so happy, alert, calm, and joyful. I'll add those to some other writings sometime.

But there you have it, our unmedicated, out of hospital birth story.

I am so glad we were able to make our own decisions with no persuasion or bias from a medical provider the entire time. If we'd done an ultrasound that last week or two before birth at a OB office, I guarantee they would have demanded a cesarean knowing how big he looked. Ultrasounds aren't always accurate, they can sometimes be off by up to 2 lbs or more....if they'd thought he was 10-12+ pounds there would have been pressure to schedule a cesarean. I also never drank the "glucola" chemical-laden beverage they try to make you drink. I don't drink soda, coffee, or anything else full of sugar on a regular basis, why in the world would I do it while pregnant? I simply took my blood sugar at the intervals my midwife suggested and sent the results to her for a week, all were normal and I carried on like normal. Everything is optional, but at the OB office, you're going to have to be very firm on what you want to participate in and what you don't. They tend to make it sound like you MUST do everything they tell you. And it's not the nurse's fault, it is simply a by-product of their training.

I don't put all this out there publicly to try to persuade you to go this route. And I certainly don't put it all out there to argue and listen to condemning comments about how you're "glad my baby didn't die and that I lived to tell about it." I could easily say the same for many, who like me, blindly go into the medical system thinking everything will go smoothly. Doctors aren't saviors and if they have a savior complex, that's a major red flag. I am simply sharing this all as an encouragement to any woman who wants an alternative to the regular hospital/OB route that most of us think we have to take. I try to run everything through a lens of 100 years ago from what I eat to how I raise my kids now. While I am thankful for the good nurses and OBGYNs out there that have life-saving skills to use when necessary, I truly think we overuse their "expertise" all too often before trusting our own God-given instincts. If you have any questions or genuinely want more information I'm happy to discuss in-depth more about our decisions and why we made them. It makes me wonder how many of my friends and thousands of other women would have tried to have more children if they'd all had this type of experience instead of whatever traumatizing one they ended up with.

No matter what type of birth you want, I support you! But please, do your own due-diligence and research EVERYTHING. Educate yourself on physiological birth. And read, read, read as many books as you can. I cannot recommend these 3 enough:

Husband-Coached Childbirth, Robert A. Bradley, M.D.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Ina May Gaskin

Anti-D Explained, Dr. Sara Wickham (Anti-D is what Rhogam is referred to in the UK)

Knowledge can conquer fear and I'm so glad God gave us the courage to overcome it so that we could have this experience. Many, many worship songs helped me to put fear straight to death throughout our pregnancy and during birth. I rebuked every negative thought that ever entered my mind in the name of Jesus and we prayed continuously. God is faithful and far too good to us. All glory to Him for this precious blessing He gave us.

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6

"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you." Joel 2:25

"For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5